brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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