Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
