the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
