My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
