I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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