There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
