Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
