party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize