I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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