Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
