I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
