I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
