I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
