Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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