He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize