If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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