like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
