did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
