The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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