perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
