I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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