your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
