Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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