belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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