how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
