Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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