True but thats because hes a fetus.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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