Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
