u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
