In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
