She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
