Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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