Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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