I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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