Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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