At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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