I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
