i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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