I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
