you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
