carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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