____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
