fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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