it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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