my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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