is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
they need to just BURY HIM!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize