Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
