Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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