I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
wow bdsm is so cute
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
