this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
