Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
