your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
