oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
