I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
