how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
