Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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