I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
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