I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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