captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
