She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
