I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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